Posts tagged ‘work’

At the water cooler

I was at work yesterday and everyone in the office was going on and on about Avatar and how great it was and unique it was. The plot, mind you, not the special effects. So, I joined in. I said “Oh, I heard it was basically Dances with Wolves with blue cat people.” Dead silence. Everyone went back to their desks. I killed the water cooler chat.
Avatar… I know. I am also very timely.

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February 23, 2010 at 5:04 pm 2 comments

Pause

It’s been really hard for me to write. There is this cloud of stay-at-home vs. work-outside-of-home vs work-at-home hanging over every post I start. Here is where things stand now: I am working 10-15 hours per week on-site and 25-30 hours per week from home. My husband watches the baby when I go in to work. This is not working. I am stressed beyond belief on the days I am working from home. When I am playing with Doodlebug, I have to keep one eye on email. Gone are relaxing nursing sessions, now I spend them formatting spreadsheets. Some of this could be resolved by having a sitter in the house when I am working, but I haven’t been able find anyone we like for the days I need to work out of the home, let alone having extra support when I am home. And my husband’s schedule is changing April 1st and he may start having weekends off, which is good for him, but not so good for covering my workdays.

So that is why I stopped posting. I would start writing a post about how awesome cloth diapering is going or the rainbow presents in his diapers now that we have started solid food and then my brain starts going no sitter, spreadsheet, save money, hand that rocks the cradle, missing milestones, just stay home, need a sitter, what if I can’t get a job later, have another baby, sleep, coffee, childcare, coffee sleep. So I post a picture. Captions I can handle.

February 21, 2010 at 12:14 am Leave a comment

Crossroads

My sister is fond of saying that life is a perpetual balancing act. I am finding that statement more true than ever, now that I am trying to handle work and mothering. I was hesitant to go back to work, extending my leave, and still have not managed to find child care, only working on days Dad can care for Spencer, but that is not really working out and it is getting to be decision time. Child care will take up 30-50% of my take home pay. I  certainly wouldn’t do my job for half the money; is it worth it?  There is another position with in the company doing what I do, but for a different department for almost twice the money. I think I will apply for that, but if I don’t get it, I may have to seriously consider staying home. It isn’t just about money though, I don’t want someone else to care for my baby.  And then I feel horrible, because enough money could entice me to let someone else take care of him. Does that make me greedy or just practical? I am so tired of constantly thinking about this. Becoming a stay at home mom is really appealing, which I never thought would be the case. This new job, though, would be a huge opportunity and not one I would necessarily have when I tried to reenter the work force five years from now.

January 10, 2010 at 12:48 am Leave a comment

Expectations

I tried very hard to limit my expectations about both pregnancy and motherhood. I historically do not do well when my expectations are improperly managed, so I thought the tactic of no expectations would be the best.  For the most part, this has worked out nicely.  A few things still surprised me. I don’t think anything could have prepared me for the sheer exhaustion and confusion of the first few weeks with a new baby. I just never knew if what I was doing was “right.” Then by month two, I threw the concept of “right” out the window.

The one expectation I did have, however, was that I would happily return to work after my three months of leave.  I justified staying out of work for six more weeks by needed to solidify breastfeeding before I rocked the boat by returning to work. I also hadn’t worked out childcare and there were a few other reasons here and there, but I also just didn’t feel ready. It took my a little while to even admit that to myself, I had always just assumed that I would want to hop right back in to work and I just didn’t. I still don’t. I am going to stay working and have seriously started looking for a sitter because I think my working at home days without help will end when the baby gets mobile.

January 4, 2010 at 10:22 pm Leave a comment

Weight Gain

I think the domperidone must have finally kicked in because Spencer has gained 5 ounces a week for the last three weeks and is now 13 pounds. I was really hoping that he would be 13 pounds by 2010 and we met that goal a week early.  He certainly seems a little chubbier. He has good smoosh to his thighs now, but he isn’t a chubby baby by any means.  My first week back at work didn’t disrupt my milk supply too much, for that I am very grateful. I was really worried about that. I don’t like pumping at work, though. Even with the office door locked, I feel like someone is about to come in at any minute and it gets really hot in there. I completely forgot how much I hated my office while I was on leave. It is hot, noisy and the chair is pretty uncomfortable. Even with the baby, I definitely am more productive at home. But, I have my own office which serves as a place to pump and my boss is accommodating to the amount of time I need, so really I am lucky. I just need to keep remembering that. On an unrelated note, I can’t believe it is almost time to make a 5 month tag!

December 23, 2009 at 2:56 pm Leave a comment

First Week of Work

For the first time, almost ever, Spencer had really good weight gain – 5 ounces – two weeks in a row. Of course, I went back to work this week, which I am hoping is not the end of the good gaining.  We have worked so hard at this, I hope my working doesn’t mess anything up.  I only went back to work for three hours on the first day and it almost killed me.  I need to keep reminding myself how lucky I am to be able to work mostly from home and that I have a really flexible schedule and very understanding boss.  We are still cloth diapering off and on, waiting to build up our stash and use up all the size 1 disposables that are lying around the house.  I love cloth diapering, we are changing him less and he seems pretty happy in them. I ordered more soap, too. I am using Rockin’ Green soap right now and I must say I am impressed.  I ordered a few samples to try out some scents and then I might convert all of my laundry over to it.

This seems a little scattered, for that I apologize.  Next year, I think I am going to try to get 3 posts up per week and try to make them more topical.

December 17, 2009 at 5:38 am 1 comment

Back to Work

I start working again tomorrow and I know I should be focusing on the good parts – flexible hours, partially working from home, my own office to pump in – but I am not. I don’t really want to go back. If my insurance wasn’t so good, I might not go back, but I should at least keep my insurance until we have a second baby.  I really have no idea how I am going to work at home when I am the only one home. A lot of my job is email based, so at least I can return emails while I am nursing him. He nurses for so long, that might actually cover the 8 hours I need to work in a day.  I thought I was being very clever going back to work right before the upcoming paid holidays, but now I am not so sure.  I still have christmas shopping to take care of and getting everything ready for my sister;s visit and my first weeks back at work at the same time. Ugh. I really didn’t think that through. At least we got the tree decorated today.

December 14, 2009 at 6:52 am Leave a comment

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