Posts tagged ‘family history’

I Am Thankful For So Many Things

1. My darling baby boy

2. My awesomely supportive husband

3. That my sister is able to visit so often from the other coast

4. That there will be no more repeats of the alcohol fueled drama and tears of the thanksgiving’s of my youth.

5. That I am still breastfeeding

6. That my husband and I still have jobs

7. For my friends and work-family

8. That I am old enough to say no to green bean casserole.

There are so many things to be thankful for, but 8 seems like a good number. I am wishing a happy and safe thanksgiving for all.

November 26, 2009 at 1:07 am Leave a comment

The Mother I Thought I Would Be

I went to a birthday party for a friend this weekend and it was mostly strangers and a few acquaintances that I see maybe twice a year at bbqs at the birthday girl’s house.  It was an interesting group, all women and mostly mothers.  I brought the baby because my husband was working and he still hasn’t been left with a sitter.  At less than 4 months, he wasn’t a very intrusive presence, except for the admiring glances and oohs and aahs he caused.

One of the women asked me an interesting question – Are you the mother you thought you would be?  I didn’t really know how to answer.  I think that it might be too early to tell what kind of mother I am. I know that I am a loving and devoted mom, but it is too early to tell what kind of mom-archetype that I will embody.  I doubt it will be the fun mom.

I think the hardest thing about this question is that I never thought of myself as a mother while I was growing up. My cabbage patch kid is the closest thing I had to a baby doll and I treated it more like a student than a child.  I played library and checked out books to both my dolls and my stuffed animals equally. (Yes, I played library. My sister played office.  We were dorky kids.)  I do not have the best mother role models from growing up.  I didn’t have a strong connection with my mom; we rarely discussed more than the superficial or daily activities.  She kind of lost interest in me once I was out of girl scouts.

Needless to say, not the best mothering role model and big influence on the no kids stance I held for most of my life.  I just started thinking about the possibility of having a child about a year or two before I got pregnant.  My husband and I decided to maybe start trying and then my mom was diagnosed with stage four lung cancer, which meant she had about a year or less left, and it just didn’t seem like the right time.  But then it was the right time and I have my darling boy, but I have no idea if I am the mother I thought I would be.  I just hope I can be the mother I want to be.

November 20, 2009 at 4:05 pm Leave a comment

Veterans Day

My childhood could have been very different if my dad had stayed in the Army.  He joined ROTC to help pay for college.  This was in the 1960s and by the time he graduated, the situation in Vietnam had significantly escalated.  Be married my mom, graduated and went off to basic training all in a span of a few months.  He left for Vietnam on his birthday in 1969 and came home one year later.  He then decided to leave the Army.

My dad had intended to be career Army, but his experience in Vietnam changed his mind.  The only time he every talked about his experience there was on Veterans Day.  He would put out the flag and tell one or two of the same three stories every year.  These were not combat tales; they were stories of water buffalos and beer.

I am remembering my dad today and telling his stories to my son, establishing a tradition to help him get to know the grandfather he will never know  I would like to wish a Happy Veterans Day to all of the men and women who serve, or have served, our country and offer my gratitude.

November 11, 2009 at 3:52 pm Leave a comment


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