Pause

It’s been really hard for me to write. There is this cloud of stay-at-home vs. work-outside-of-home vs work-at-home hanging over every post I start. Here is where things stand now: I am working 10-15 hours per week on-site and 25-30 hours per week from home. My husband watches the baby when I go in to work. This is not working. I am stressed beyond belief on the days I am working from home. When I am playing with Doodlebug, I have to keep one eye on email. Gone are relaxing nursing sessions, now I spend them formatting spreadsheets. Some of this could be resolved by having a sitter in the house when I am working, but I haven’t been able find anyone we like for the days I need to work out of the home, let alone having extra support when I am home. And my husband’s schedule is changing April 1st and he may start having weekends off, which is good for him, but not so good for covering my workdays.

So that is why I stopped posting. I would start writing a post about how awesome cloth diapering is going or the rainbow presents in his diapers now that we have started solid food and then my brain starts going no sitter, spreadsheet, save money, hand that rocks the cradle, missing milestones, just stay home, need a sitter, what if I can’t get a job later, have another baby, sleep, coffee, childcare, coffee sleep. So I post a picture. Captions I can handle.